16 years later

As it is Saturday this post seems extremely appropriate since Saturday is “relationship day” here at happyorganizedhome because it is about some new relationships being formed after years of separation. I normally don’t do personal posts like this however this week seems to be full of them (I promise this one is happier than the post on complicated grief)

When I was 6 years old I learned I was an aunt. It was an amazing feeling, the downside was I hadn’t seen my sister in 2 years. There is a twelve year age gap between my sister and myself and when I was four and she was sixteen she left and moved half way across the country. So although I was pumped to be an aunt (because what 6 year old wouldn’t think that was the coolest thing ever) I never got the chance to meet my nephew. Within the next couple years I became an aunt again and then due to some unfortunate circumstances my niece and nephew got put up for adoption. My sister left their father, met her husband and had three daughters who, over the last 2 years, I have been lucky enough to build a relationship with and get to know quite well, but I had still never been able to meet my first niece and nephew. Luckily this story has a happy ending.

Yesterday I picked my youngest niece and her friend up at her friend’s house to take them to our local rec center. On my way past my sister’s house which is just around the corner there was motioning in the window telling me to come back. When I pulled in the driveway my sister, her husband and my other two nieces came outside, all in tears. I asked what was wrong and found out my sister had finally, after 16 years found her children. Later on that night I was fortunate enough to be at her house when they called and got to, for the first time in my life, hear my niece and nephew’s voices. I now have them on facebook and it finally feels like my family is whole, including a new 3 month old great-nephew. They are still quite a distance away but at least now there is communication and that is a great improvement. When my sister and her family came home two years ago I felt as though things were as good as they could get, after 21 years I actually had my sister, I didn’t think things could get better but I was wrong.  Yesterday, while we were having a family cry-fest in the middle of my sister’s driveway I learned that there is always something that can happen to make your life even more complete.You always hear horror stories of when adopted children find their birth-parents, there is usually resentment and anger and rarely do they enter the relationship with an open mind and heart, luckily this is the exception. Seeing the look of joy on my sister’s face, on the faces of my nieces was one of the greatest experiences of my life and I am very excited about what the future may now bring.

 

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